Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sometimes a scene must be shared




Mortals were predictable after thousands of years watching them.

“High Messenger, is there something that you need?” the king finally glanced up from his reading to stare blankly at Nycon, his posture equally stiff, his courtesy forced.

“For you to take responsibility for your actions,” Nycon suggested with a slow smile that did not reach his eyes. “As unlikely though that may be.”

The human’s eyes narrowed, and Nycon shrugged his broad shoulders.

“I am here to ask you what you are planning to do with what your son has sent you,” he changed the subject, though his terminology caused the king’s jaw to tighten.

“The Commander,” he corrected not so subtly, glancing back down at the parchment in front of him, “has said that Allan remains within the bounds of the treaty at all times. They ventured to the desert, where the Commander ran into your supposed savior.”

Appointed and supposed are two incredibly different things,” Shainaka interrupted.

Faran’s lips were ghosted with a smile, the first Nycon had seen from them in years.

“That’s right,” he nodded in agreement. “The Messengers lied at the council, pure servants of the Guardian that they are.”

Nycon chuckled.

“I know it is a foreign concept to you, Faran, protecting those you are supposed to protect,” he drawled absently. “But sometimes, doing your duty involves breaking a few rules in order to fulfill it.”

Faran tilted his head back to the parchment.

“So Kanaray has found nothing for months,” Nycon summed up lightly. “Call him back.”

“No,” Faran shook his head. “The Commander needs to stay where he is, should they grow to trust him.”

“For the free nations, or for you?” Nycon challenged.

Faran looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

“What is it you are here for, High Messenger?” he demanded. “What is your purpose in lingering in this room?”

Nycon leaned away from the column, rolling his shoulders.

“Anden’s burning was never part of your motivation to send your first born to his death,” the High Messenger said quietly, a rumble of anger sparking across the words, electrifying them. “You are playing with fire, Faran. I thought that you would have learned long ago it will burn you.”

“You and your riddles,” Faran snorted, dismissing him by glancing back down at the table.

“Riddles they may be, but I was right about his mother, wasn’t I?” Shainaka pressed, half hooding his eyes. “It played out just as I said, and now where is she?”



Friday, April 22, 2011

WHAT.

I'M SO BLOODY CLOSE.


I have to write in three or so chapters, edit three more, and then I AM DONE WITH THIS SUCKER.

AHHHHH!!!

SO EXCITED.

They keep surprising me, even so.

This is madness.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Making Sense.

Sometimes, as I go over old drafts and polish them up to my current writing style, I find gems such as this:

"He had sprung from his bed, grabbed his blade gone to where it had come form."

Where not only is the writing surrounding it terrible, but it in itself does not actually make any sense whatsoever. That was from book 2. Other jewels of horrible include:

"There was a brief silence before the wooden gates were heaved inward in much protest as they departed from one another. And that was all. "

And, my favorite because it is SO terrible, from Draft 1 of Book 1:

"A narrow yet used dusty street. "

Yeah. That's the complete sentence.


EDIT: Found another LOVELY one just now:

"He cut himself up and jerked his gaze to the Messenger."

My gosh, Lonlor, that sounds painful. Quick, hide the razor blades everyone, we've got a real emo on our hands.

EDIT 2 (4/20/2011):

"D'hiren watched in complete silence as Lonlor took a dew steps backwards until his back hit the oppisite wall."


I don't even...just...no. NO.

EDIT 3 (4/21/2011)

"Lonlor stood on a snow-covered hill that overlooked an untouched Anden spread out and huddled below him."

It is spread out... yet HUDDLED. Yes.

My gosh I'm just going to make this a log of all the mistakes I find. WOO.



Do you guys have anything remarkably close to this that you groan when you go over a while later? Better yet, can you come up with what you'd consider a terrible sentence?

Off to more editing, where I'm sure there will be more awkwardness aplenty. And yeah, I'm totally listening to Katy Perry as I trudge through this draft.

Don't judge me!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mary Sues

I've taken a lot of "Mary Sue" tests for fun, just to see what on earth the general writing community considers a Mary Sue- or a Gary Sue, what have you. Usually, however, I really don't agree with how the questions are set up. They make it impossible to have a character who does not possess the traits they list, because if they didn't, they wouldn't be a fictional person. It's especially difficult to do with a fantasy like setting because "magic" is involved, and unfortunately a lot of stereotypical crap is lumped in with that. I took one over at KatFeet.net that I've taken before, and my results were thus:

"Lonlor is nothing like you. He isn't really very cool: he blends into crowds, he hangs out on the fringes at parties, and wearing shades after dark makes him run into things. He may have sometimes thought that he was special, or destined for greater things, but probably dismissed the idea as a fantasy. He's had more than his fair share of hard knocks, and probably spends more time than he ought moaning about it. And he's gotten no slack from you.

In general, you care deeply about Lonlor, but you're smart enough to let him stand on his own, without burdening him with your personal fantasies or propping him up with idealization and over-dramatization. Lonlor is a healthy character with a promising career ahead of him."


Which was pretty interesting to me, though I'm glad to hear he of all characters scored low on this particular Mary Sue test. Because as far as main characters goes, he has the teenager finds amulet has to go save the world and reluctant hero nonsense counting against him, because heaven knows THAT'S been done before.

And, granted, a lot of the questions on there were questions that held incredibly over used cards that authors tend to favor and readers tend to somehow eat up. Half breeds, outcasts, abuse, torture, tattoos, scars, etc. And I do agree that these things can be overdone, and in a lot of cases, they are. However, it caused me to question the definition of a Mary Sue outside of fan-fiction. What would qualify a character to be a Mary Sue? The first thought that comes to most recent reader's minds is Bella Swan from Twilight- at least, thats the first example that comes to my mind. But what makes her a Mary Sue? Is it over used cliches? There's nothing really extraordinary about her, if you think about it. She is apparently the cats meow (or the vampires bite, the dogs bark- yes, I think I'm hilarious) of Forks, as she attracts every male within miles. She also takes to the vampire mojo very quickly with disturbing ease, but beyond that, what is so Mary Sue about her?

Yeah, I drew a blank too. So then why, if she has these two big things that could have been written well, do I immediately jump to her when I define Mary Sue? There are people out there who are naturally great at many things. I bet you can bring to mind a few of them that you know or know of, and how it can be a little annoying that they are so naturally gifted. There are also women who men tend to think of as beautiful across the board and who always get the attention of the opposite gender. So what's the big deal when you combine these things? What makes a Mary Sue...sueish?

My answer is this: Execution.

No, not a massacre of Mary Sues (though I do support that), but how their writer's actually execute their characters. Stephanie Meyer could have pulled off Bella Swan. She could have bulked out the same character instead of letting shallow, bland facts define her. I'm never against the general story of Twilight- what has always been a chip on my shoulder was how it was written. How the tale was carried out, how the characters were fleshed out (well, they really weren't. They all have one general emotion to stick to- Jacob was usually aggression, Edward melancholy, Bella passiveness), and how the author chooses to portray them. Because you know what? I love mush. I love triangles of the mushy variety, and I love torment and conflict and meshed together feelings with a random mythical creature thrown in. I'm all for these things, but if executed poorly like they were written by a chicken with it's head cut off, they turn sour. It's like leaving a banana on the counter for three weeks. You don't want to consume it, you don't want to go near it, and you definitely don't want to touch it. You're not entirely impressed by who left it there, because they certainly did not pay enough attention to put it into the trash where it belongs.

I don't believe in "over used" cliches. I don't think that all because a thousand people execute the same idea poorly, that one person should be denied a shot at it. Because hey, I have a half blood in my story, and he's one of the main characters. And guess what, my main character was abused growing up, and yeah, it affects him whenever he interacts with women, because he has two categories for women in his life time. One, his foster parent who never hesitated to smack him around and use force to enforce her will, and two, his sister, who is the direct opposite and sweet, caring, kind and was the only thing keeping him sane during their childhoods. Then you toss in Naomi, who starts to file into the latter category for him, but then he realizes that hey, she's not his sister. She has no reason to act the same, yet she does, and it's different, so what does that make her?

The point is, my personal definition of Mary Sue characteristics is this: A Mary Sue is made up of seemingly randomly, unexplained pieces that are not at all sewn together properly. This doesn't mean you need to provide answers for everything. Reader's don't need pages of back story of why a character's hair is a certain shade, or why they like baloney instead of turkey in their sandwiches. It's a good idea to get a grasp of what is considered cliche, or over used, or Mary Sue-ish, and to check out how not to execute your personal character. But heck, if you want a love triangle, you go for it. If you want your character to be tatted up, if you want your main character to be blonde, if you want them to have unusual coloring, magical powers and fairy wings that bring all the boys to the yard, then go for it. Write and create your little heart out, but remember that when people look at your character, they will be able to see how much you've actually put into it. And what you put in is exactly what you will get out.

Just remember to connect those pieces, stamp your own mark across the creation, and to never be afraid to do something that has been done before. Because guess what? As true as it is that there is nothing new under the sun, it hasn't been done by you before, now has it? And that, in itself, is new.

Just don't go out and make it a Mary Sue.


Monday, April 4, 2011

Keep Moving Forward

I've been sprinkling different scenes into Descent to "spice it up", most that have to do with showing more of my villains. I'm trying to use chapters from other perspectives to "break up" the chapters totally focusing on Lonlor. I'm doing this for two reasons. 1) Following Lonlor exclusively can be incredibly frustrating for readers, as he is stubborn, hard headed, and at a transition stage right now where he's JUST getting the hang of what is going on. And it only took him 400 pages. WOO! (Character building pages that needed to happen, I swear) and 2) This story involves a lot of other characters that do really interesting stuff while Lonlor is doing something entirely different. I also feel it's a good way to give a breath of fresh air now and then, and give my bad guys a stronger presence. It helps when an audience sees glimpses of why the bad guys are threats that need to be faced.

However, only this morning I found myself plunging into one of those very breather chapters, and after a page I wrote, in all caps: "WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS CONVERSATION. IT SHOULD MOVE THE PLOT FORWARD OR BE TAKEN OUT. DUH SELF."

And it helped me realize that if the chapter, conversation, event, etc doesn't move the plot or the character themselves forward in some way, then why on earth mention it? It's like retelling an event that has happened to you to a friend and mentioning the weather when the story you are telling took place inside and was totally unaffected by the outside.

I can tell pretty quickly when chapters start to go nowhere that they either need to be taken out, or given a purpose that actually ties in with the plot or shows something about the character that is important. It doesn't have to be life changing for them, but it should have an impact (such as factoring in to characters relationships with one another, giving new information, a new obstacle for the character to overcome, etc), otherwise you are forcing reader's to read irrelevant nonsense that does nothing but hold your story back.

Just something to think about, and definitely something I've been focusing on recently in rewriting book 2 of SoF. Has anyone else found something similar in their own writing? Do you notice when you do it, or does it have to be brought to your attention? Can you spot it when you are reading a published book?